The first planning exercise we decided to do came from Jason Mitchell's book, Getting Groomed: The Ultimate Wedding Planner for Gay Grooms. It asked us each to make a list of everything we could possibly think of about a wedding and then rank those items on a scale of 1 to 4; 1 being absolutely must have in the wedding and 4 being adamantly opposed to having in the wedding. The book encouraged us to dream and have fun with this process. With pen in hand and crepe in mouth, we each started filling out our lists.
We had already talked a lot about what we do and don't want in a wedding so this process was fairly easy and without surprise. However, there were a few things we had to and will continue to talk through. Nathan envisions a traditional kneeling at the altar communion during the ceremony. I (Justin) grew up with a strict Church of Christ religious background. You would basically walk in, sit down, shut up and not move for 90 minutes during church service...so the idea of kneeling during communion is somewhat foreign to me. I (Justin) also want to have our dog Annie involved in the ceremony somehow. Nathan has this fear that she's going to turn into a wild beast and knock down all the flowers and candles and light the place on fire while chasing out our guests with a pitchfork between her teeth.
After looking through our lists, here is our collective list of wedding wants:
- Live music - no DJ
- Communion in ceremony
- Write our own vows
- Wedding/reception at same venue
- Real bow ties
- Family tree/candles to honor our families
- Unity candle
- Wedding party in black
- Masculine feel - but no mustache graphics!
- Modern Nashville meets timeless Paris "feel"
- Magnolias somewhere
- Annie involved if trained
- Beautiful location that we don't have to MAKE beautiful
- Photographer/videographer to document EVERYTHING
- Some kind of app where guests can share photos/video in one location
- Clean, masculine invitations
- Dusk ceremony - we want the entire ceremony to be during daylight hours, but fading into evening for cocktail hour before reception
- Strings/mini orchestra for ceremony
- Quiet moment alone before and after ceremony
- Personal hashtag for guests to use
And for fun, here are the things we were adamantly opposed to. For the record, if you like any of these things, we mean no disrespect. You can invite us to your wedding and we will enjoy them there!
- Rainbow anything - yes we're gay, but this isn't the pride parade
- Mustache anything - yes we're gay, but not hipster gay
- Punch fountain
- Real flowers on the cake
Stay tuned for our next post! We are about to start the venue research process.